Keep your hands to yo self

ok so i got a request from a friend to share my views on a special subject: relationships. Call me weird but relationships and "talking about your feelings" weird me the freak out. Like, it's totally great that you found that "special someone." we totally get it, so could you stop touching each other for five minutes? There are so many types of relationships. first we have my personal favorite: the couple that loves to fights, or fights to love? who knows. true that verbal slashings add a certain spice to the relationship but is tearing someone else apart constantly really healthy? like, were you checking her out? no baby, i totally wasnt checking her out! um, yes you were. so, what if i was? wah wah wah. get over the jealousy, its a sign of insecurity not a measure of how much you love someone. make me a sandwich. you make yourself a sandwich. what did you say to me? and there they go. its entertaining as hell to watch, but puts a strain on the vocal chords not to mention the ears. the DTHU couple is pretty fascinating. thats down to hook up ya'll. they are only together for physical purposes, no strings attached. i can say, that doesn't work very well because somebody is gonna give, then it just sucks. the next are my least favorite: the lovey dovey, ooey gooey, please gag me with a spoon, perfect couple. these people are few and far between but i think most of them reside in my school. pda is at an all time high and is rising fast. it's one of my pet peeves and makes me want to throw up. look, i understand that ya'll are dating. its facebook official, youre wearing his football sweatshirt like its a prom dress, and you ditch your friends at the last second just for him but honey, can you just stop touching for two seconds? it's extremely uncomfortable and makes me feel like an awkward 3. baby names are not cute either. thats for private and youre crazy if you think im interested in his shoe size, the color of his favorite boxers, or how many calories he ate yesterday. I dont want to hear his name more than i hear mine and he doesnt have to be brought up in every conversation. next we'll group the disfunctional relationships: the jealous, the awkward couple that can't be by themselves, dating for social status or looks, the controllers, and the old married couples. heres a synopsis: if youre too jealous that you must come back to accompany your boy/girlfriend  to a dance, youve got a problem. i can understand asking them not to go without you, but if you come back....wow. ok, if youre texting me to hang out with you and your boyfriend because yall are so insecure and awkward that you can't sit in the same room together, theres a problem...sincerely. dating for social status and looks gross me out, dont be so fake. i'm a very controlling person so i'm guilty of that, i'll own up. the old married couple either can be totally awesome or boring as mess. well, i'm a total blog rat now and i better close this puppy up. oh and weebs and i are totally cool, i was making fun out of love...or well friendship.

and scene.