3 days. After 13 years, countless moments of doubting my sanity, being forced mindnumbing material down my throat, being with the same people day after day and dealing with their shit, it all ends officially in 3 days. Actually, my trinity career ends tomorrow at 11:30 when I shuffle out of mrs. baker's cal class. I should be studying for that AND AP bio right now but, you know, i'm stupid so i won't. For the past 16 or so days, senior bonding has kicked into overdrive. I've been forced, along with my fellow seniors, to pose for picture after picture, attend Baccalaureate, suffer senior sunday at Frazier, parade in "cap of choice," and gown, recite my major and university to everyone who forgets the minute auburn leaves my lips, attend tea after tea but no tea is served, be expected to still perform at school, AND act like we all still love each other. Well, i'm about stressed to the max and i'm tired of it. Yeah, when i think of it all being over thursday i get a little queasy but it's time. really, truly, it is. I'll miss my bro, camille, and a scarce handfull of others but when our prank was dismantled last week, i knew i couldn't shake off the amount of hatred, dissappointment, and downright apathy i felt toward tps. Look, we know they hate our class but cut us some slack.
Trinity is seriously beating a dead horse here. I got admonished today because aparently senior monday doesn't count during exam week. That's complete bullshit in my opinion. I'm still a senior. Juniors are still juniors, sophomores are still sophomores, and freshman still barely count. Yes, I want to leave but trying to kick me out before I've even finished my exams is really pushing my thin patience. In my opinion, Trinity's just dragging this graduation and senior mentality out til it's not even fun anymore. I mean, over thirty people are going to auburn next year. Yes, there are over 25, 000 students but it's my life so i should run into trinity people all the time. God, i wish cam newton was still there. Stalker fo sho. I hate the fact that my graduation presents have been in visible sight for over a month but i can't have them yet. Thinking about all the stuff i have to get for auburn is so overwhelming that i just wanna give up.
I wrote that two days ago. I graduate tomorrow. I survived my exams and pulled an all nighter. I passed every class even when i thought failure was imminent when baker handed out a bitch of an exam. I seriously almost bludgeoned the woman. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. Tomorrow. I've been waiting my whole life for tomorrow. It's the day i'm finally done with trinity, officially. Yesterday was my last day and I couldn't believe it. Today was my first day of summer and i had so much fun on a date with my girls addie and bethea. Tomorrow is my last day with my trinity family all together and yeah, it's a bittersweet symphony. (i'm listening to it right now, love the verve) The only thing separating me from freedom is a handshake and a cap toss away but ive got the feeling that i'll walk away from all the tearfilled eyes, gut wrenching hugs, and watery smiles to find myself walking to my car thinking: Now what?
I've been looking forward to this day all year, counting down the days since january. I can still remember when it was 99 days left, 45, 22, two weeks, one week, now it's tomorrow and soon it'll be all over. The summer is all that's separating me from total and complete freedom. Why am i scared shitless about it sometimes? Senior year was memorable and filled with complete shit highlighted by some happy moments. It was over too fast and sometimes i think i'm gonna wake up and take my junior year exams. That i just had a shoddy imagination and that senior year is about to start but...i'm done and i'm trying to grasp that. It is finished. I just wrote 10 letters to the people that mean the most to me and it was one of the most emotional experience i have ever had. all i want to do is just get away from all the senior bonding thrust upon us and start my life even if it scares me and makes me wanna gag. So, tomorrow's the day. The last time I get to say i'm a senior at trinity. The last time i can see the people i despise but tolerate because we've been together for years. The last time I see the juniors and think, you're a junior, i'm a senior. The last time i'll have to look at yohn, cleveland, stabler, and the like as my teachers. It's the last time my grade, some people i have been with for thirteen years, will be all together. I literally blinked and everything i've known and taken for granted is gone. It's the last time I can truly say it's great to be a trinity wildcat, so what if i'm lying? and scene.
No comments:
Post a Comment